Happy Veterans Day

Happy Veterans Day to all of the soldiers who have served in our Armed Forces! My humble thanks to all who have served. It is because of you that I live in a country that allows me to freely express my preferred gender. I am forever greatful.

In honor of this day, I decided to wear a red, white, and blue outfit!

I did not have a lot of time this morning so I could not go everywhere I wanted to go. I went into Tom Thumb to look for something to snack on for breakfast. I could not find anything appetizing so I went to Kroger. I found some donuts and water for breakfast, made my purchase, and headed to the post office. I completely forgot that the post office is closed for Veterans Day, but luckily the one I go to has an automated stamp machine. After purchasing stamps and mailing my letter, I headed to the car wash to change into my drab clothes and go into work. Nothing to talk about after that. Just a boring drive into work in drab.

One thing that I have really noticed (and I made reference to it on my last blog) is how most people do not pay attention to you as long as you do not try to make waves. I was in the stores in 4 inch heels and no one gave me a second glance. I have a theory about that. My theory is that these stores get women in them all the time dressed like I was. They are going to work or coming home from work, and have to stop at the store to pick up some things along the way. Since I was in those stores at roughly the same time some women go in to work, I was not out of place. I did not avoid people, went in, got what I was looking for, paid for it, and left. As long as crossdressers act like they are supposed to be there and are doing nothing suspicious (like avoiding employees at those places--been there, done that), we blend in quite nicely.

My next blog will be next week, as I plan on doing some serious dressing on Monday, Wednesday, and especially Friday.

Personal Realizations

As my first official blog (the one from earlier is basically an introduction), I wanted to discuss some personal realizations I have discovered during my years as a transgendered person.
I have been dressing as Janet since I was 6 years old. It began with my Mom's heels at 6.
Realizations at 6
1. Mom's heels are comfy

Image courtesy Photobucket

2. Heels make a neat sound when you walk on a tile floor

Image courtesy Photobucket

Next it was her pantyhose and heels at around 8
Realizations at 8
3. Pantyhose feel so smooth and luxurious when I wear them.

4. Mom sure does dress nice.

Image courtesy Photobucket

Then it was her underwear, pantyhose, clothes, and heels at around 13.
Realizations at 13
5. I would rather dress as a woman than a man.
6. Secretaries wear very nice, comfortable dresses (Mom was a secretary).

Image courtesy Photobucket

7. Shoes feel so much better with pantyhose on your feet (tried with and without-like with better).

8. Black goes with anything.

Unfortunately, it was also at this time that I started to outgrow Mom's clothes and shoes. Over the next few years, I had to resort to finding other women I encountered that were larger than my Mom and "borrow" their clothes. Luckily, the neighbor's daughter (who was 10 years older than me) and a couple of our neighbors fit the bill.
Realizations at 15
9. Female flight attendants wear the prettiest navy outfits and heels.

Images courtesy Photobucket

10. Black patent is sexy and is my main turn-on (so starts the trend that continues today-60% of my shoes are BP).

11. Accessorizing with belts and jewelry completes the outfit.

12. High heels aren't THAT hard to walk in.

This continued until I started driving and working at 17 and could afford to go to the store and purchase my own items. Unfortunately I came to a couple realizations at that point that actually hurt me for a few years.
Realizations at 17
13. Mom was very nosy and loved to search my room, my car, and every other location she could think of to find my stash and get rid of it.
14. Telling the sales associates that the items I was buying were for my mom or girlfriend kept my secret safe.

This continued until I turned 21 and moved into my apartment. My roommate was a beautiful woman that is the same age as me and was my exact same size. I was also spending more time driving around dressed, and started wearing a wig.
Realizations at 21
15. Sleeping in womens underwear is a liberating experience.
16. Having your own room in your own apartment lends itself to massive freedom to dress and experiment in seclusion.
17. Goodwill is a great place to pick up nice gently used clothing at a very reasonable price.

Fast forward to 26. It was then that I decided the time was right to go all the way with my dressing. I started wearing breast forms (cheap ones made of knee highs and birdseed) and makeup. I started paying attention to how I looked in an attempt to pass as Janet.
Realizations at 26
18. Makeup is not that hard to apply.
19. Storage buildings are excellent places to keep your clothes so nosy family members, roommates, girlfriends, and eventually wives do not find them.
20. The storage buildings are also great places to get dressed and undressed.
21. When driving, very few people pay attention to who is driving next to them.

Unfortunately, I spent the next 8 years driving around at night, never getting out of my car, and hiding from the rest of the world. Then the unthinkable happened. I got brave. I decided to step out and walk around the mall. At 34 I came to the realizations that have probably made the most impact on me.
Realizations at 34
22. You will not get arrested for walking around the mall in womens clothing.
23. Going out in public as Janet is an exhilarating experience and beats the hell out of my male persona.
24. Coin operated car washes and park bathrooms make great places to get changed into and out of clothes.
25. Most cashiers don't care who you are buying the clothes for.

That brings us to this past year.
Realizations at 39/40
26. The expensive shoes are expensive for a reason and it is more than because of the name.

27. The majority of people you see in public that you don't know don't care if you dress as a man, woman, dog, or the Easter Bunny. They are so caught up in their own lives that they do not care about yours.
28. Most cashiers and sales associates want your business and will not do anything to drive you away.
29. If you let your feminine instincts take over and stop thinking about walking, you walk more fluidly and your feet don't hurt as much.
30. Being called "Ma'am" is the ultimate vindication.

Greetings from Texas

Hi everyone! My name is Janet. I am a lifelong male to female transgendered lady living in Texas. I created this blog to hopefully help other transgenders out there who have struggled with their identity and with other issues. A few ground rules to begin.
1. I am a MTF Transgender. If the whole subject of transgenderism grosses you out, please do not continue to follow this blog. Eventually there will be pictures and discussions about men dressing as women and going out in public. If you are offended by this subject, I suggest you search again.
2. Cyberbullying and harassment of any sort will not be tolerated. Any posts that harass transgenders or any other member of the LGBT community (including their significant others) will be immediately deleted and the violator removed from the blog. NO EXCEPTIONS.
3. Anyone is welcome to follow my blog, and much like an equal opportunity employer I will not restrict access to anyone based on their race, color, religion, national origin, creed, or sexual orientation.

First off, as I mentioned before, I am a male to female transgender. I was born a man but prefer to publicly appear as a woman as often as I am able. In a future blog (or possibly series of blogs), I will discuss how I started down this road to personal freedom.
For now, I will concentrate on my reasons for posting.
I have struggled for years with the knowledge that I was somehow different from everyone else. Male clothes do not impress me, and I would much rather wear womens clothing. I enjoy everything about the clothes I wear. I love the colors, the feel, the fit, and how the clothes look. From reading posts on a crossdresser website (www.crossdressers.com) I have discovered that I am not the only one. Therefore, I decided that I needed to blog about the trials and tribulations (and triumphs) of being a 40 year old transgender. This is not an easy task. I only have one friend that knows my secret. She has been my friend for almost 20 years and accepts me for who I am. I am happily married and have been since 2001, but my wife does not accept this part of me. We have adopted a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" process for dealing with my transsexualism. She does not ask if I am dressing, and I do not tell. This has been a very difficult part of my life to deal with. I am aware from readings on the previously mentioned website that there are others that are going through the same situation. This blog is meant to offer help and support for others going through this situation, while also giving fellow transgenders a sounding board.

A few things about me:
As I mentioned earlier, I am a 40 year old transgender from Texas. You may notice that I do not call myself a crossdresser or a transvestite. The three terms generally have the same meaning (a person adopting the appearance of the gender opposite of their birth gender), but I feel transgender describes me better than the other two. I am not offended by the other two, and have no problems being called them as well.
When I am by myself out of the house, 99% of the time I am wearing female undergarments. I also try to fully dress (lingerie, pantyhose, clothes, shoes, wig, jewelry, makeup, and nails) at least twice to three times a week on the way into work. I schedule time off from work several times a year to spend full days dressed.
When I am dressed, I do things and go places that I would normally go. For instance, on the way into work I will go to a grocery store to buy breakfast or purchase my lunch for that day. If I need gas, I will stop at the gas station and fill my tank.
A few questions that always come up:
Are you gay? No, I am not. I am attracted to females and always will be. There are transgenders that are gay. I have no problems whatsoever with that. I do not have issues with any members of the LGBT community and welcome their gender and sexual preferences.
Do you want to be a woman? A tricky question that most transgenders have trouble with. If I were younger and did not have the responsibilities I currently have, then I would probably go through the Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS). It is very expensive and participants go through a long, gruelling procedure. The other downside is that you alienate most of the people currently in your life. My parents and family do not know, and I would probably lose contact with the majority of them if I were to change my gender.
How do you act when you are out in public? Like any lady would.
That is it for my (extremely long :-)) introductory blog. I will post more as I am able.
Janet