I have read several posts on other LGBT blogs that discuss the differences between transgendered people and crossdressers, and truthfully, I don't fit completely into either. I am a man that dresses in womens clothing when I have the chance and 90% of the time am underdressed. That would make me a crossdresser.
But stop the presses. I also have the emotions and feelings typically attributed to the female gender, and feel that I am a woman stuck in a man's body. Nothing makes me feel more like myself than spending all day in panties, pantyhose, a bra, a nice woman's outfit, heels, and makeup and wig, partaking the day as a woman. That would make me a transgendered person. Current circumstances have dictated that I cannot present full-time as a woman, but if I could, I would. There is just too much at stake.
So where does that leave me? Because I feel that my physical makeup is not what it should be, I am transgendered. Yes, I do present as a man when the need arises. I work on cars, I fix the house, I mow the lawns, etc.., but the whole time I wish I was doing it while presenting myself as Janet. I wish I was doing those things with my wig in a ponytail, wearing capris, a knit t-shirt, and canvas shoes or ballet flats, worrying about breaking one of my french manicured nails.
To ask the question again: Where does that leave me? The answer is in a constant state of turmoil.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Thought for Tuesday & Tip #1 - 3
As I was driving into work today, I had an idea for my next blog. I have read tons of articles describing the differences between men and women. One difference that I have come across several times is that the authors assume that women are calmer and more forgiving behind the wheel. As I was cut off by a woman in an SUV for the fifth time in thirty minutes, I had to question that logic. While posing the question, a blonde haired beauty in a Lexus roared by me in the left lane, swerving in and out of traffic like she was on a slalom ski course.
Here is my point: quit worrying about doing everything like a woman. The more you try to ensure all of your mannerisms are feminine, the more those mannerisms will appear rehearsed and fake. Think of drag queens. All of their mannerisms are overstated, and it is obvious they are playing a part. Are we playing a part or trying to be ourselves? I know when I am presenting as Janet, I am doing all things as the woman that I am. I just do what comes natural to me, and do not worry if it is inherently masculine or feminine.
When I was at the casino last Wednesday, I had the opportunity to watch ladies as they played the slots. The majority did not sit like prim and proper ladies with their legs crossed at the knees and their hands gently crossed on their laps. They sat any way they felt comfortable. That should tell us something. If we are not comfortable, how can we properly present as our femme personas? We can't.
Tip#1
So I am going to offer this first tip for those CD/TG MTF ladies out there who are starting out and might be concerned about presenting or passing in public:
Relax! GGs (genetic girls) walk in different styles, talk with different resonance, sit in different ways, have different mannerisms, and generally act differently from one another.
Now, this is not to say that we should all go out there in mini-skirts sitting with our legs wide open, grabbing our crotches while we are burping and farting uncontrollably, but try to make your bodily movements seem as natural as possible. An uncomfortable person, whether male or female, will show their comfort level through their body movements. It draws attention to you and makes people who normally would not give you a second glance pay closer attention to you. And that is when most people get read.
Tip#2
Have fun! Nothing pushes people away more than a frown. I understand that some of us do not want to interact with others when we are en femme because of voice or other issues, but how are we going to make the world understand that we are normal unless we start acting normally? If a salesperson comes up to you, do not brush them away. Talk to them. You will be amazed how much assistance you can get with wardrobe and makeup tips when you talk to others. Find places such as Dress Barn and Sephora that are CD friendly and give it a whirl!
Tip#3
Dress appropriately! This may sound basic, but it is true. How many times do you see a woman in a cocktail dress and 4 inch heels shopping for groceries at 10 o'clock at night? I will assume never. If you are going to a nice dinner with friends at an appropriate location, the cocktail dress and heels are appropriate. Or maybe if you are going to a wedding or a formal party. Here are my ideas for everyday wear that will allow you to fit in while still looking nice.
During the week:
Businesswomen do go shopping before and after work and at lunch. Wear a skirtsuit or pantsuit with three to four inch heels, moderate makeup, and basic jewelry from 6AM to 6PM. If you are going to do a lot of shopping with tons of walking, I would suggest shorter heels.
After 6PM, most women have changed into casual attire. If you go out for normal errands after 6, change into jeans or capris with a nice knit shirt and flats or low heel wedges. As this is my blog, I will state my #1 pet peeve--flip flops. Flip flops are NOT a fashion statement and are not appropriate except for places that serve fruity drinks with umbrellas in them while the sand covers your feet as you walk. Nothing turns me away more than a lady with a nice dress or other nice outfit wearing flip flops. Janet does not own a pair and never will. My male persona has a pair but restricts their use to around the house.
Weekend:
In the summertime, a pair of shorts or a light skirt and a t and canvas shoes or ballerina flats works well with minimal makeup and jewelry during the day with a sleeveless or cap sleeve sundress and flats or dress sandals for nighttime wear.
In the spring and fall, replace the shorts with capris and add a thin cardigan for the daytime. For the nighttime depending on where you are going, a dress with hose and high heels or jeans with a silk blouse and low heels work well.
For winter, jeans or leggings tucked into boots (low heeled during the day, high heeled at night) with a big sweater is the way to go.
I am by no means a fashion expert, but these are the types of outfits I have found blend easier than extravagant ones.
Well, that is all for today's blog. I will add more tips as I find ones that I feel I should share.
Until later, keep your hose run-free and your wigs unmatted!
Janet
Here is my point: quit worrying about doing everything like a woman. The more you try to ensure all of your mannerisms are feminine, the more those mannerisms will appear rehearsed and fake. Think of drag queens. All of their mannerisms are overstated, and it is obvious they are playing a part. Are we playing a part or trying to be ourselves? I know when I am presenting as Janet, I am doing all things as the woman that I am. I just do what comes natural to me, and do not worry if it is inherently masculine or feminine.
When I was at the casino last Wednesday, I had the opportunity to watch ladies as they played the slots. The majority did not sit like prim and proper ladies with their legs crossed at the knees and their hands gently crossed on their laps. They sat any way they felt comfortable. That should tell us something. If we are not comfortable, how can we properly present as our femme personas? We can't.
Tip#1
So I am going to offer this first tip for those CD/TG MTF ladies out there who are starting out and might be concerned about presenting or passing in public:
Relax! GGs (genetic girls) walk in different styles, talk with different resonance, sit in different ways, have different mannerisms, and generally act differently from one another.
Now, this is not to say that we should all go out there in mini-skirts sitting with our legs wide open, grabbing our crotches while we are burping and farting uncontrollably, but try to make your bodily movements seem as natural as possible. An uncomfortable person, whether male or female, will show their comfort level through their body movements. It draws attention to you and makes people who normally would not give you a second glance pay closer attention to you. And that is when most people get read.
Tip#2
Have fun! Nothing pushes people away more than a frown. I understand that some of us do not want to interact with others when we are en femme because of voice or other issues, but how are we going to make the world understand that we are normal unless we start acting normally? If a salesperson comes up to you, do not brush them away. Talk to them. You will be amazed how much assistance you can get with wardrobe and makeup tips when you talk to others. Find places such as Dress Barn and Sephora that are CD friendly and give it a whirl!
Tip#3
Dress appropriately! This may sound basic, but it is true. How many times do you see a woman in a cocktail dress and 4 inch heels shopping for groceries at 10 o'clock at night? I will assume never. If you are going to a nice dinner with friends at an appropriate location, the cocktail dress and heels are appropriate. Or maybe if you are going to a wedding or a formal party. Here are my ideas for everyday wear that will allow you to fit in while still looking nice.
During the week:
Businesswomen do go shopping before and after work and at lunch. Wear a skirtsuit or pantsuit with three to four inch heels, moderate makeup, and basic jewelry from 6AM to 6PM. If you are going to do a lot of shopping with tons of walking, I would suggest shorter heels.
After 6PM, most women have changed into casual attire. If you go out for normal errands after 6, change into jeans or capris with a nice knit shirt and flats or low heel wedges. As this is my blog, I will state my #1 pet peeve--flip flops. Flip flops are NOT a fashion statement and are not appropriate except for places that serve fruity drinks with umbrellas in them while the sand covers your feet as you walk. Nothing turns me away more than a lady with a nice dress or other nice outfit wearing flip flops. Janet does not own a pair and never will. My male persona has a pair but restricts their use to around the house.
Weekend:
In the summertime, a pair of shorts or a light skirt and a t and canvas shoes or ballerina flats works well with minimal makeup and jewelry during the day with a sleeveless or cap sleeve sundress and flats or dress sandals for nighttime wear.
In the spring and fall, replace the shorts with capris and add a thin cardigan for the daytime. For the nighttime depending on where you are going, a dress with hose and high heels or jeans with a silk blouse and low heels work well.
For winter, jeans or leggings tucked into boots (low heeled during the day, high heeled at night) with a big sweater is the way to go.
Well, that is all for today's blog. I will add more tips as I find ones that I feel I should share.
Until later, keep your hose run-free and your wigs unmatted!
Janet
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday Blog
Hello all. It has been a while since I have posted so I figured I needed to post an update. I have spent a couple full days dressed over the past two weeks, and both have been glorious experiences, although one resulted in a major reading.
First Full Day: Friday the 18th
I have neglected my closet (aka my storage building) for some time now, and with the receipt of the bags of clothes I mentioned in a previous post I needed to get the space organized. I left early that morning and arrived at the storage area at 6:30AM. I dressed in jeans, 3/4 sleeve knit shirt, hose, and low heeled pumps, with my full makeup, nails, and wig. A little overdressed for cleaning out a storage building, but I sure looked good doing it! By about 2PM I was starting to get hungry, and I was out of hangers. I stuffed what I had left to organize in my shed, and headed to the local WalMart. I walked in, grabbed a Lunchable and some hangers, and made my way to the self checkouts. Unfortunately, there were no empty lanes, so I had to wait. As I stood there in line, I watched everyone around me. It was amazing to watch how many times someone glanced my way and then went about their tasks. Finally it was my turn to check out. I scanned my items, paid for them, and walked out. No one even acknowledged I was there, and I am kinda glad!
The rest of the day way fairly uneventful, as I went back to storage, changed into my drab clothes, and went home. On to the eventful day!
Second Full Day: Wednesday the 23rd
I have wanted to get an ID card with my femme picture on it for sometime to assist me when I go to clubs, or if I am asked for it while writing a check or using my checkcard. As I was off on Wednesday for Thanksgiving holiday and the wife had to work, I decided that would be the perfect day to go. For my outfit, I decided to dress business casual, wearing my black slacks, blue long sleeve knit shirt with a thin black patent belt, tan pantyhose, and black patent 2"wedge heel pumps with a bow on the vamp.
I live in Collin County in Texas, so there are only a few places I can go to get the identification card. Either I can go to Plano, or to McKinney. Part of my family lives in Plano, so I chose to go to McKinney to avaoid running into relatives. After making sure that my hair and makeup were acceptable, I headed to McKinney. I pulled into the driveway of the DMV and noticed that there were not many cars there. I got out and headed to the door, only to find it barricaded with a note stating that it had moved to a different location. As I sat in my car, I contemplated what I should do next. I was set on finding the new driver's license location when an idea struck me. Where I live is only about 1 1/4 hours from the casinos in Oklahoma. I decided now would be as good a time as any to try my luck presenting at a casino as Janet. I headed north on US 75 to Durant, OK, got there at about 10:30AM, and entered the casino. I spent two hours in the casino. I did not interact with anyone but did catch the glances of several people while I was walking around. I had absolutely no trouble at all in there and highly recommend that any North Texas or Oklahoma girls that read this make the trip. It is worth it to reaffirm the notion that most people do not care how you are dressed and will not give you a second thought. I plan on going to Tulsa the first part of January and will definitely make a point of stopping at the casino again on my way up there. Hopefully I won't blow any money that time.
My confidence was exploding after that. I have recently purchased a Speaking as a Woman CD and have been practicing as much as possible, so I decided to go to McDonalds drive through to try it out. Being called Ma'am over the speaker was heavenly. I paid for my food and drove home. That is when I experienced the only letdown of the whole entire day. I had to go to the restroom, so I decided to stop at a Kroger on the way to storage. When I was walking to the restroom, an elderly lady glanced at me and could not stop staring. I had been read. It is something I have grown to expect, but usually the people give a second look followed by a smile or a look of disbelief and then move on. This lady actually stared. It was a very uneasy feeling. I see now why so many ladies feel so awkward when men stare at them. Because of that situation, I made it to the restroom, did my business, and went to storage to change. All in all, it was a wonderful time spent doing what I love.
First Full Day: Friday the 18th
I have neglected my closet (aka my storage building) for some time now, and with the receipt of the bags of clothes I mentioned in a previous post I needed to get the space organized. I left early that morning and arrived at the storage area at 6:30AM. I dressed in jeans, 3/4 sleeve knit shirt, hose, and low heeled pumps, with my full makeup, nails, and wig. A little overdressed for cleaning out a storage building, but I sure looked good doing it! By about 2PM I was starting to get hungry, and I was out of hangers. I stuffed what I had left to organize in my shed, and headed to the local WalMart. I walked in, grabbed a Lunchable and some hangers, and made my way to the self checkouts. Unfortunately, there were no empty lanes, so I had to wait. As I stood there in line, I watched everyone around me. It was amazing to watch how many times someone glanced my way and then went about their tasks. Finally it was my turn to check out. I scanned my items, paid for them, and walked out. No one even acknowledged I was there, and I am kinda glad!
The rest of the day way fairly uneventful, as I went back to storage, changed into my drab clothes, and went home. On to the eventful day!
Second Full Day: Wednesday the 23rd
I have wanted to get an ID card with my femme picture on it for sometime to assist me when I go to clubs, or if I am asked for it while writing a check or using my checkcard. As I was off on Wednesday for Thanksgiving holiday and the wife had to work, I decided that would be the perfect day to go. For my outfit, I decided to dress business casual, wearing my black slacks, blue long sleeve knit shirt with a thin black patent belt, tan pantyhose, and black patent 2"wedge heel pumps with a bow on the vamp.
I live in Collin County in Texas, so there are only a few places I can go to get the identification card. Either I can go to Plano, or to McKinney. Part of my family lives in Plano, so I chose to go to McKinney to avaoid running into relatives. After making sure that my hair and makeup were acceptable, I headed to McKinney. I pulled into the driveway of the DMV and noticed that there were not many cars there. I got out and headed to the door, only to find it barricaded with a note stating that it had moved to a different location. As I sat in my car, I contemplated what I should do next. I was set on finding the new driver's license location when an idea struck me. Where I live is only about 1 1/4 hours from the casinos in Oklahoma. I decided now would be as good a time as any to try my luck presenting at a casino as Janet. I headed north on US 75 to Durant, OK, got there at about 10:30AM, and entered the casino. I spent two hours in the casino. I did not interact with anyone but did catch the glances of several people while I was walking around. I had absolutely no trouble at all in there and highly recommend that any North Texas or Oklahoma girls that read this make the trip. It is worth it to reaffirm the notion that most people do not care how you are dressed and will not give you a second thought. I plan on going to Tulsa the first part of January and will definitely make a point of stopping at the casino again on my way up there. Hopefully I won't blow any money that time.
My confidence was exploding after that. I have recently purchased a Speaking as a Woman CD and have been practicing as much as possible, so I decided to go to McDonalds drive through to try it out. Being called Ma'am over the speaker was heavenly. I paid for my food and drove home. That is when I experienced the only letdown of the whole entire day. I had to go to the restroom, so I decided to stop at a Kroger on the way to storage. When I was walking to the restroom, an elderly lady glanced at me and could not stop staring. I had been read. It is something I have grown to expect, but usually the people give a second look followed by a smile or a look of disbelief and then move on. This lady actually stared. It was a very uneasy feeling. I see now why so many ladies feel so awkward when men stare at them. Because of that situation, I made it to the restroom, did my business, and went to storage to change. All in all, it was a wonderful time spent doing what I love.
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