Tuesday Thoughts

Happy Tuesday to all of you. I hope you are having a blessed day.
My second blog was in regards to different realizations that I have come to at different times in my life. As I sit here in front of my computer here at work, I am contemplating the changes that I have gone through in the past six years. You see, seven years ago I was WAY closeted. I did not wear makeup, I had a cheap halloween wig for my hair, and I resorted to only going out when it was dark so I was less noticed. My stops were to pay at the pump gas stations and parks. I did not venture out into any area where there were people. I was scared.
Then, six years ago I decided that I needed to take the next step. I took the plunge and ordered a good wig from wigs.com. I started experimenting with makeup. Lord knows I looked like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show at first, but with a little practice I started to get the knack of it. For the biggest change, I started to go out places. I started off going to the mall. As a scared little baby, I would walk in, make a lap around the entrance section of the mall (making sure to keep my distance from everyone), and leave. I would sit in my car for at least 15 - 20 minutes before I would go in, making sure that I got up enough nerve to do it.
Little by little, I started to get braver. Instead of sitting in the car talking myself out of chickening out, I parked, turned off the car, and walked in. I started staying there for a while. I started window shopping and actually walking into stores. If people smiled at me, I smiled back. Unfortunately, I still was too scared to interact with cashiers and sales associates.
A year ago something happened that changed my outlook forever. I was in Ross Dress for Less and saw a great looking dress that I could not live without. I was dressed as Janet, so I had two choices. Either I could leave and come back the following day in drab and take a chance the dress would be gone, or I could adopt the "I don't care" attitude that my friend Meg talks about and go up to the cashier to buy my dress. I chose the latter. I walked up to the gentleman, smiled and said "Hi," and waited for him to ring up my purchase. I paid for the purchase, received my change and my bag, and left the store. Nothing bad happened to me. The tranny police didn't stop me at the door and ask me to remove my wig and breast forms, there were no announcements of "There's a tranny in the store," and no one made me feel the least bit uncomfortable. Sure there were a few people that took double takes, but for the most part everyone just minded their own business.
The moral of the story is this:
Do not worry what others think. For the most part you will never see them again. If they work in an establishment you are shopping at, they want your money, regardless of the clothes you are wearing. Just get out there and shop!
There is something else that I have noticed, and I wonder if other transsexuals feel this way. For as long as I can remember, I have gone through mood swings. For instance, this past Saturday, I got really moody! There was nothing that provoked it, I just got moody. I have often stated that I have the body of a man with the internal makeup of a woman. You think I might have a little hormone imbalance? I am curious to see if this happens on a regular interval.